Monday, February 28, 2005

Crotches Across America

Thank you all for the support with my E! Entertainment appearance. I had a ball! It's weird because a daily show is pretty hectic, but their 9 hour live telecast was organized down to the minute. I was impressed when they came up to me and said, 'you're now on at 12:06, not 12:05.' It would have been interesting to see what they would have done had I gone CRAZY and screamed, 'Pushed one minute? you think I'm made of time? That's it. I'm outta here!' Then left the room chanting some Wicken spell-in a gown, and heels, with a PR person and products in tow.

Seriously, it was awesome; now all I have to do is have someone really like me E! and voila! I get to do more product segments on BASIC cable! ;)

You guys are so full of creative ideas, I want to throw something out there for you to nibble on. This Thursday, I am shooting a segment called 'Crotches Across America'. In this segment, I will spoof a human interest news story where I interview people from all walks of life, while showing off an LCD belt buckle that flashes whatever you want to put in there. Here's where you come in.

If you are interested in sharing your ideas for the 'people' across America that you would find interesting wearing this LCD belt buckle, write them in. They can be general or specific, and I will do the rest. I thought it would be fun to include you guys in one of my pieces, and this is one way I thought of. I hope you don't mind...and if you do, well I can tell you how to get down with cat butt soup.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Eve of the E! appearance

I am spending Saturday preparing myself for my appearance on E! Entertainment's Red Carpet Countdown to the Oscars by catching up on all my Tivo-ed shows. I am a big fan of Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Lost. I'm real dedicated, I know. The best part is that I get to play with a bunch of products just for fun. TOUGH!

Has anyone seen 'Finding Neverland'? I really enjoyed that movie and at times, it does teeter on the edge of being overly sappy but never falls. The film tells the lively story of a washed-up playwright and how 'Peter Pan' came to be; also, the end was surprisingly touching. I almost cried, ALMOST!

Oh, and my favorite color is red.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

I'm on E! Entertainment this Sunday!!!

Friends, foes, and fraggles, this Sunday I will be talking about products on E! Entertainment's Red Carpet event.


And I finally got my glasses back from the optometrist. You know, this year's prescription hasn't changed much, but I don't think I have EVER gone through a whopping 4 trial pairs of contacts to find 'the right one'. Damn, if I am having this much trouble with contacts that get thrown out every two weeks, I wonder what it'll take when I am looking adulterous goat to make a sweater from. haha, thought I was gonna say 'boyfriend' huh? I am making a sweater from the goat 's hair people. Simmer down now!

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

and the inseam stayed intact!

you ever notice how my face never changes?

you guys asked for more pictures, so here they come.

The Real Chi-Lan Stands Up

and shockingly enough, I do it daily, hourly even! Yes, this blog is me. Hoe can you tell? Dude...

Distraction - Wax Poetic Gameshow

The sweet poetry of sophomore humor has been rolled into a gameshow they call 'Distraction.' let me take a moment and tell you all why this show is SOOOO good. The purpose is to answer trivial questions while you're being tormented on set, being put through some of the most tortorous and confusing distractions your depraved mind could conjure. I am sad I am not a writer for that show...From wigs to cod pieces, we all mature with time. And ketchup. I like ketchup too. The single packets.

Distractions from the show: Answer tirvia questions...
1. when you know the answer, press button and someone smashes vase full of flowers on your head
2. win a new car by answering 4 simple questions, get one wrong, and they smash the winshield OR spraypaint the exterior OR slahs the tires OR throw bricks at the car.
3. and this is my absolute favorite: Drink two gallons of water, and to answer a trivia question, you need to sit on these toilets behind short stalls on-set, and your buzzer rings when you pee. PEE on TV people! FCC be damned!

I must have please the Gods on Mount Olympus because they have blessed with me with 30 miutes of pure human grandeur.

Today on TSS, Nextel phones in love

Since some of you are actually interested in my product insights, here's another.

You guys get a chance to watch my segment/skit about the indestructible Nextel i315 and i325 Phones? In short, the most common reasons phones break is because phones are dropped on ground, in water, used in rain and snow, thrown in rage, dog chewed on cell, or your tight pants caused the cell to burst-from sexiness of course. Well Nextel made phones that are military grade, which means they can withstand rain, sand, wind, and impact. Therefore, the only thing I could do is repeatedly drop the phone and throw it at a brick wall, for research and laughs. Mainly, it was for laughs. The phones are pretty sturdy, since they are made for hardcore work locations. But the best feature is the walkie-talkie function. It works even if the phone won't. it is great for disaster workers and the like. And there is a GPS function on the i325, but it comes at a hefty price tag, $400. Get yourself a Magellan Roadmate 300 instead. it's more, but it's worth it.

And one of these days, just because we're on live TV, I'd like to scream out 'HAMMOCK UP BOYS!'

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Another day, another pair of socks

It's Thursday and for a while there, I didn't think I would make it this far in the week with clean socks. Okay, I'm lying. I took a pair of my sister's, but I really needed them. One note of advice, wool socks and sneakers not a good idea in southern California. Really, no.

I am shooting a review of hte Delphi Myfi (portable satellite radio device) today, and the Nextel Indestructible phones segment will air Tuesday on The Screen Savers. yeah, I get to do reviews all the time now! it's great!

I'd better run to work. But before I go, you all seem like nice people with strong film opinions. Tell me what you thought about Million Dollar Baby. And if you haven't seen it, don't read the comments because there will be a spoiler. I will post my thoughts in the comments a little later today.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Jebus, will I ever sleep?

Not a whole lot interesting has happened, but I must say I got immersed in the movie 'BAD SANTA' while working out and couldn't stop until the movie ended. The movie is refreshingly brash, unsensitive, and alive with all the cultural 'no's' our moms and dads have taught us were bad over the years. Damn I find that movie good, silly good.

So after running for 45 minutes, I went home and as I walked up the stairs to my apartment (an entire floor!) I thought to myself, what did I do to have God spite me this much?! Damn.

And now it's 11:36 PM and I am sleepy. But that doesn't mean I'll sleep. Good night to the two people who read my blog. You know who you are, and I know who you are. It's a great relationship!

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Valentine's Day AGAIN

ok, mRobe review. short and sweet, it ain't worth your penny cause as pretty as it is, it don't got the junk in the trunk. I mean, the camera alone blows so bad I have to drop it like it's hot. The LCD viewfinder has issues refreshing, so it looks like you're constantly shooting with a slow shutter. Also, since there is no shutter button, to take the picture, you have to tap on the touchscreen, moving your shot more often than capturing the moment. Sure it's really pretty and the touchscreen interface is a cool concept, but it's got aobut three more versions before it actually poses a threat to the iPod Photo or Creative Zen.

Now with Valentine's Day upon us, I have decided to offer up advice in the category of amour if you are brave enough to ask it and possibly take it.

Actually, I am just incredibly excited about 'The Gates', the public art piece put up in Central Park by Cristo and jean-Claude. 26 years in the making and 20 million of the artists' own money brings a stunning walk of gates to the park during a grim season of chill and wind.

Ok it's late and I am lazy so off to bed I go! I wish you all a good night and not too much suffering as we all embark on another day that the greeting card companies devised to force our dependance on greeting cards and the like. I have nothing against flowers though. I'm no monster afterall.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Sunday, rainy, and working.

It's a gloomy Sunday in Los Angeles, and I am sitting in front of a computer working. You know, I am a big fan of rain because it reminds me of the good ol' times in San Francisco. Those were my formative years, when I learned how to have fun, smile and let go of the woes in life because if I didn't, my girlfriends would smack me upside the head and ban me from that week's winedrinking/Top Model watching Monday night. You know what a girl's gotta do.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

My signature pose has taken me around the world. Here I am in Nuremberg, Germany.  Posted by Hello

Wednesday, February 02, 2005


OMG I just shot the segment for the super sexy-hot Olympus M:Robe 500 today.

One thing, why does my apartment always sound like there is a fire alarm going off? Quality housing in LA.

Ok, so the M:Robe is a sleek, futuristic MP3 player whose main claim to fame is the ability to create slide shows to music on the go. It has a touch interface, a large 3.75 inch LCD screen, and a 1.3 megapixel camera. Because of these simple features, it was chosen as one of the Best of CES this year. I say this because as far as I can see, there is nothing super crazy great about this MP3 player, except its asking price of 5 benjamins.

I will have a complete review here by Friday. But before you go, remember this, slideshows on the go is not always a good thing.' Remember that cousin who travels to interesting places and brings back only pictures of his girlfriend. 'Oh look, the building behind Tracey is one of my favorites' does not an interesting photo make.