Tuesday, February 22, 2005

and the inseam stayed intact!

you ever notice how my face never changes?

you guys asked for more pictures, so here they come.

The Real Chi-Lan Stands Up

and shockingly enough, I do it daily, hourly even! Yes, this blog is me. Hoe can you tell? Dude...

Distraction - Wax Poetic Gameshow

The sweet poetry of sophomore humor has been rolled into a gameshow they call 'Distraction.' let me take a moment and tell you all why this show is SOOOO good. The purpose is to answer trivial questions while you're being tormented on set, being put through some of the most tortorous and confusing distractions your depraved mind could conjure. I am sad I am not a writer for that show...From wigs to cod pieces, we all mature with time. And ketchup. I like ketchup too. The single packets.

Distractions from the show: Answer tirvia questions...
1. when you know the answer, press button and someone smashes vase full of flowers on your head
2. win a new car by answering 4 simple questions, get one wrong, and they smash the winshield OR spraypaint the exterior OR slahs the tires OR throw bricks at the car.
3. and this is my absolute favorite: Drink two gallons of water, and to answer a trivia question, you need to sit on these toilets behind short stalls on-set, and your buzzer rings when you pee. PEE on TV people! FCC be damned!

I must have please the Gods on Mount Olympus because they have blessed with me with 30 miutes of pure human grandeur.

Today on TSS, Nextel phones in love

Since some of you are actually interested in my product insights, here's another.

You guys get a chance to watch my segment/skit about the indestructible Nextel i315 and i325 Phones? In short, the most common reasons phones break is because phones are dropped on ground, in water, used in rain and snow, thrown in rage, dog chewed on cell, or your tight pants caused the cell to burst-from sexiness of course. Well Nextel made phones that are military grade, which means they can withstand rain, sand, wind, and impact. Therefore, the only thing I could do is repeatedly drop the phone and throw it at a brick wall, for research and laughs. Mainly, it was for laughs. The phones are pretty sturdy, since they are made for hardcore work locations. But the best feature is the walkie-talkie function. It works even if the phone won't. it is great for disaster workers and the like. And there is a GPS function on the i325, but it comes at a hefty price tag, $400. Get yourself a Magellan Roadmate 300 instead. it's more, but it's worth it.

And one of these days, just because we're on live TV, I'd like to scream out 'HAMMOCK UP BOYS!'