Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Leaving for vacation!!!

Now you all know my screws are a little loose up there in the noggin, and let me tell you, I have been stressing out due to 1) my trip and leaving for 9 days and 2) tax deadline.

Now although my Monday was pretty successful, can I just say I was sweating all weekend long because I needed to open up a SEP IRA (a retirement account for self-employed people - plus I said I would put money into so I can reap some tax benefits) in my taxes. and since my return was completed in early April, I thought, oh, no problem! I will get that opened and fund that puppy quick-like. And in true Chi-Lan form, somehow I picked the slowest company to open an account with and BOOM! Like lightening hitting metal rods and melting sand into glass in 'Sweet Home Alabama', I am scrambling like crazy last night to OPEN this account. Got it open, now funding it electronically is not allowed, so I pop my silly butt into the car at 10 pm, sister and Moose in tow, and we drive 20 minutes to drop off an envelope that will hopefully show the IRS that I am not a liar, and I really did contribute to my retirement. YEAH!

I also started packing for my lovely trip to Germany yesterday because today has like 3 minutes free, and I'd rather be blogging than packing. Lucky for me, I have no qualms about packing like a 9 year old child, so i went into my closet, picked the tops I wanted, put two hands up, palms facing each other, closed in on the chosen 'winners', walked the clothes on hangers to the suitcase, and released. Voila! Packed! Now when I unpack, sure it'll take just a hair more effort, but I envision the night to be like this: open suitcase, grab hangers, move to closet, and hit the sack. Genius! If you don't worry about wrinkles or carrying on the pretense of adulthood, then this is the packing strategy for you!

Now if there was only a gadget that would make packing easier than this...

Friday, April 13, 2007

No jury duty?!

OMG! Can you believe that I didn't get called in to see either Judge LAnce Ito nor Diane Sawyer's faces telling me that I am providing a great service to my community? Well, I did complete a service. I like to call it 'disgruntled brat of LA county.' Others may regard it as a shining sliver of service in an otherwise overcast and bleak world, overrun with mongrels out to eat only bones and bread. Why bread? Why not ask, why mongrels? Hmmmm.....discuss.

So it is Friday and I have been home writing scripts all day long. Let me tell you, after a crazy windstorm blew through LA and knocked down many a power line in LA, it's odd that the next day, the day I choose to stay home and work, is absolutely GORGEOUS! The sun shines, it's warm, and my dog Moose, gets outside to kick some jogger ass. Did I mention he's aggressive and a chihuahua? I like to call him BM for Big Moose or Bowel Movement. You decide.

So what is my insanely attention deficit disorder mind fixated on for these next few seconds? Grindhouse of course! Can I just tell you that when I heard about the over 3 hour long film, I thought, crap. Last time I saw a movie that broke the 3 hour mark was Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Though it was spellbindingly beautiful and an awesome flick, by the 2.5 hour, I started trying to stretch in my chair, and by the end of the movie, i had forgotten how to walk and how to pee. Old age is getting to me. That reminds me, my birthday is soon...April 20th.

So back to Grindhouse, what do i think? I think Tarantino's film 'Death Proof' is a lot better than Rodriguez's. Now granted, Rodriguez created a straight homage to the B zombie movies of yesteryear, but at the same time, when you have two flicks side by side, you have to be able to compare and contrast. And i liked Tarantino's because of the action, dialogue and twists! Now Rodriguez did have some silly funny dialogue moments, and Freddy and Rose did great jobs as the leads in the film, but still...At one point, I got up to get more popcorn.

Is 'Grindhouse' worth $11.75 to see? Well, personally, I don't think you lose anything by seeing it on TV, so you can wait for the video. But if you can find an $8 movie theater, man up, grab your wallet, insert your catheter and get ready to get grossed out and laugh.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Jury Duty

And did I tell you all that I am on jury duty? That's right! an entire week of nothing to do but wait for a recording to tell me if I need to report so I may do my part for society by paying it forward through our judicial system.

And I have made it as far as Thursday without having to go in. Last couple times this happened, I get called in on Friday and sit there, doing absolutely nothing. GAWD! But I did get a 'pep' talk by Judge Lance Ito. yes! the OJ Simpson Judge Ito talked to my group of 400 or so disgruntled citizens who are more interested in being released than serving on a jury. Honestly, I would not mind serving, except many cases last two weeks or more, and being a freelancer, the $15 jury service pays won't really pay for the mortgage if I don't work. :(


Monday, April 09, 2007

more projects on the horizon!

You know what I think is totally odd? Every time I walk to the post office, dry cleaners, or anywhere in my neighborhood in fact, there are soooo many people milling about. Don't they have jobs? Or are they all semi-employed like me? We all know I mill around a lot as well, walking that Kujo dog of mine, running my errands, and waiting to be called for jury duty. Yeah!

I have a couple of projects that will be hitting the air in April. They are both on HGTV. One is 'RV Road Home', which started out as an RV themed project, all about the really cool gadgets in RVs. But it morphed into a show about family fun. It was such a fun shoot though, and being from southern California and always thinking of seeing the country on wheels, with a take-along bathroom, I love the idea of an RV. This premiered last night at 9 pm, but there are 4 episodes, so keep your eyes peeled.

I will also host HGTV's Outdoor Living Special 2007 which premieres April 22 at 9 pm. I love being in primetime! For this show, my co-host, Evan Farmer and I crazy through the Las Vegas Convention center to being you all the cool stuff to make your outdoor area sing- but only public domain songs because no one can afford publishing rights nowadays.

And supposedly tonight is the one-time showing of my interstitials, my first foray into kind of acting with AMC's Date Night event and the movie 'Splash', starring Tom Hanks and Darryl Hannah. Yeah, I have to say that I went in to this project as a host, and came out feeling dirty, the kind of dirt a shower and loofah can not match. So I have decided to call it an 'acting' project where the producers forgot to tell me I'd be acting, and did the best job I could. Can I just tell you all that I shot this a little less than a month ago and it went like this:

My agent calls with the good news that I booked this gig. I am told that I will be the host of a dating show, the moderator, if you will, of the conversations being had by those there to date each other. I cancel my vacation to Germany and go for the first day of a 2 day shoot. I get to the set and meet everyone. I am suspicious as there are 4 dudes and me for the afternoon shoot for Splash. Hmmm....my Spidey senses tell me something is up. For some god-forsaken-reason, I think I am a DATER, a person there to pick a date! I call my agent and leave a message. Then I man up and do the shoot, trying to pull my strength from the core of the earth to not piss myself off too much for getting swindled.

The next day, my agent calls and says I am the host, not a dater. He has even verified this with the producer. So I take it upon myself to edumakate him on how there are 4 dudes, and me. And the producers have asked me to choose one. I told them I didn't want to choose one, I didn't want any of them. Or I could pretend these men turned me into a lover of women and I would out myself on TV that afternoon. Think of the drama. both these ideas were dismissed and I hated the project, but I finished it with as much professionalism as I could. I hear it turned out well, but I have to say this project was one of the worst experiences of my career. It has been a while since I have felt so disrespected and disregarded as I did with this one, but oh well. I did my job and that is all I can do. I'll know better for next time!

But some good news! I may have a new show on the horizon! I won't jinx it, but let me tell you, I am sooo excited about it!