Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Solid! Roomba welcome home!

I just did myself the biggest solid this Memorial Day weekend. I am not talking about all out drinking myself into a blind stupor while on a boat out in nowhere California. Oh no. I'm not even talking about learning how to make some kick-ass seared ahi tuna while a funnel of sangria makes a beeline into my stomach (it's amazing that all that fruit just gave up on the trip through the esophagus. Nope. I am talking about the best gift I have ever given myself, My Roomba Discovery!!!! The applause is deafening.

The Roomba Discovery is the white robotic vaccuum that uses algarithyms, AI, the AWARE system, the hair of a rat with the toe of a frog and the eyelash from your childhood enemy to sweep your entire room clean. Or in my case, my little abode. All 4 rooms of it.

And does this robot thing really work? Well besides the fact that I had 5 other girls in my house when I first brought baby home, and its appearance incited much excitement, the ladies couldn't keep their eyes off this little looker. Sure we charged this bad boy for a good 16 hours prior to itits first use, it was worth it to see the little dude beep as he backed-up from home base and started to go. Hey Roomba, you're looking so fine, why don't you back that ass up - and gimme that 18-wheeler truck warning beep. Cute!

Now after I let it run and do its thing, this little dude sucks up all the loose hair (it's shocking how much hair a girl loses in 2 days, and still doesn't appear to be balding - I must have the same hairdresser as Jon Bon Jovi. Lord knows he's been going skin since the 80s). I have to say, when it has finished its cycle, going under the chairs, sofa, tables, etc. which is more than I ever swept, mind you, it returns to homebase and charges. Save for the fact that the Rooba's sensitive 'tap head' that allows it to feel furniture and maneuver around it is more of a body slam that makes you jump at first, it's a good little dude if you ask me.

Now I do not have the Scheduler, the one that you can set a little alarm on him so he runs without you having to tell him to clean, but come on. My laziness has gotten me to invest in a robot to sweep for me. The least I can do is reach all the way to the floor and press the button 'clean' to start the badboy going. If i can't at least do that, well the terrorists have won.

And as much as the Roomba is able to fight a good fight against the evil crumbs and hairs of the world, it doesn't do corners, get super close to walls, into crevices or get that stuck-on crap on the floor well. But hey, if it keeps me from making everyone tie up their hair, wear hairnets, and biohazard outfits to keep their dirt to themselves while in my house, well hasn't this little thing already paid for itself?

I have run the Roomba in a total of 4 rooms, one mid-sized livingroom, 2 bedrooms (one with a closet hallway type thing), and a small office all on one charge. The littel guy started whimpering after all that work, with a little red light appearing in the power button, but it was still going. And I didn't run it straight for a certain amount of time, but I'd say this little guy ran for around 4 hours. And that's with waxing on, waxing off many times to make him clean all areas well. Keep practicing Ralph. One day, you'll be Karate Kid. Or the Scooba, and start mopping my floors bitch!

The iRobot Roomba Discovery is available for around $250-280. I got mine at Home Depot for $200 (crazy clearance!).

Saturday, May 20, 2006

a waste

I've been meaning to post this since last week...

Can I just tell you how much time I wasted by traipsing all the way to the westside to see an art show?! And not just any old art show, mind you, it was a Gregory Colbert show that charges $15 to artlovers such as myself, and makes me wait in line for over two hours to see a show that took a whopping 20 minutes to walk through - twice - while watching the films...

ashes and snow is the name of the show, and please don't get me wrong, I am a strong art lover. I belong to a lot of museums, have a degree in art, specializing in photography, so you know my tastes have been well defined. Well after so many rave reviews of this show, I thought I would hit this sh%t. Can I just say that the temporary housing structure called 'The Nomadic Museum' designed by architect Shigeru Ban is absolutely awe inspiring. Ban takes old train carts, stacks them on top of each other, like a checkerboard pattern and inserts large white fabric between the crates. The pillars that support much of the art work hangings and fabric are paper-made, which reinforces the temporary feeling of the installation and experience. The interior of the structure gives you the same feeling of wow, like you just walked into a millionaire's foyer, with rocks, great lighting, and old wood flooring.

Now for the not so good parts - well I have to say, why didn't I run when I saw the line that wrapped three times around the building as a sign that said, 'run for your short little life'. Even if I had enough sense to say, I have a long life and can spare 3 hours to lines and this 'art', I wouldn't spite that person if they decided to just shoot a dart in my head for that thought, the show was that riveting...

Now I would love to spill my guts about how I think Colbert is a very, very talented artist and photographer, but at the same time, I hate me some Anne Geddes, and I felt like I was looking at a picture show where the kids Geddes shot were all grown up and in grade school! And all with their eyes still closed! How do they pass class when they are always sleeping?

And then there are the dolphins. And the elephants. And the monkeys. Dude! And then the films of the people with the dolphins, elephants, and monkeys, all with sleepy people in slow motion, and with chanting music playing overhead. I love yoga chants as much as the next guy, but can someone say pretentious?! $15 is a dinner!

Ok rant over. I went to LACMA and saw the infamous 5 Klimt paintings and that was worth it. See Chi-Lan can hate AND love!

Monday, May 15, 2006

New Music site

hello fellow tune lovers and leavers. If you're one that loves the tactical feel of a music CD, well have I got the discount site for you! A new start-up in Silicon Valley has become is heard all you CD owners' cries and developed a site that helps CD owners trade entire CDs for less than an iTunes video download.

The site says that it will start working around July 4th (that's how they like to celebrate independence day. Can someone say 'thinly veiled double entendre'? Well I think I just did.) But I digress. Now no one knows if this service, which pretty much lets you list what you have and what you want, and matches you up with those that have what you want and want what you have, then charge you a fee of arond $1.50 or $2 to facilitate the trade. Sounds like a dating website. So no one knows if this site will be the another nail in the music industry's coffin, the next iTunes, or just a site that no one knows about, but I'll put it out there just because I can!

Hey, you never know, maybe music lovers alike will find more than a CD on

Monday, May 08, 2006

This is the month

All right guys. This is the month that STUFF magazine's June issue comes out. And that article!!!! I can't wait.

As for my print work, is there anything you guys want me to consider writing about?

and yes, I should post some new pics on my Flickr account. so many things to do, so little time. Can someone tell me why i waited so long to remove all the glue off my bamboo floors? talk about back, knee, arm, and crap ache. Somebody just put me out of my misery. And by put me out of my misery, I mean tell the dudes who wrote 'Holy Blood, Holy Grail' to make it an digestible non-fiction rather than facts on facts on french words and facts. I feel like I am in senior year world history, you know the last year of your high-school career where you just don't care enough to try that hard, but you do what you need to do to get by and focus on the prom and staying away from gangs. And sneaking out to Taco Bell for lunch.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

That's awesome!

ok so you guys know I was on TV. That isn't any news, but it still surprises me when people recognize me...and let me just say that it rarely happens. And growing up in the 91801, I never expected I could be on TV. I grew up in a simple blue collar, yellow-trash family, and now look at me! I walk into a dim sum restaurant my family and I frequent and a guy named Bryant recognizes me - then posts on my blog! What a crazy small world. Soon we'll all be playing yatzee.

Hey did you all know about the computer companies holding hands in a non-sexual way with ubersexy car companies to come up with an overpriced, ok line of laptops? Well check it!

Get your ‘nerd turned successful’ on with the Ferrari 3000 laptop. A stylish lap companion that sports the patented Ferrari red color (I didn’t know red was a patented color either. That’s like saying I’ve patented air – I’m just sayin’.), a 15” LCD screen, ATI® MOBILITY™ RADEON™ 9200 graphics chipset, built-in DVD-Dual drive, integrated bluetooth, and an S-video output.. And yeah, Mary, the head cheerleader turned toothless crack addict living in a cardboard box will rue the day she said refused your invite to the prom because now you own a Ferrari! That crazy chic.

Not sure if hell froze over or pigs are flying, but ultra-sexy high-end car companies playing nice with the likes of computer makers doesn’t stop with Ferrari. Not to be outdone, Lamborghini and Asus joined forces to create a sleek and chic laptop coated in a mirror painted finish of undeniable Lamborghini black or yellow and topped off with the infamous triangular emblem. And with a 17” widescreen display, mobile media center with TV tuner, and built-in subwoofer, you’ll be able to hear every bass-note behind the artistic visuals of such classics as ‘Girls Gone Wild: Mardi Gras Invasion’ and ‘Girls Gone Wild: Spring Break ’06.’

My favorite recent television line: Family Guy: scenario: Peter and friends (Quagmire, Cleveland, Joe) sit at the Drunken Clam. Peter reads some pages from his recently penned 'nasty novel', also called trashy supermarket lit. Peter finishes his novella's last line and Cleveland responds 'I'm no school administrator, but there's an extension program going on in my trousers.'


Tuesday, May 02, 2006

I Want That! Tech Toys

Hideeee ho everyone! Looks like the title of my new HGTV series is 'I Want That! Tech Toys'! That's right you all. This show is tentatively scheduled to premiere in August, and I, of course, will keep you posted.

Tech toys and me, what could be a better match?! Do you all get HGTV?