Friday, December 28, 2007

Rose Parade craziness!

So it is the 28th of December. And I have just spent 15.5 hours shooting 'The Making of Rose Parade 2008' special for HGTV. Wow, it was COLD! Now some of you know this is my 2nd year shooting this special, and even though I have experienced the pain of the cold in the 'float barns', I still am unable to convince myself to stop physically abusing my body by dressing in a silk dress in weather that hits the highs of the 40's all day long. Damn! It was some cold stuff! Now senseless as I am, I find the prettiest little silk dress and think the flower motif will be great for the special. Yeah. So I find some tank tops, double them up and like a lady, tuck them deep into my hot pink colored tights. This my friends, is one sexy look. It gets even better when the microphone, ever so important when you decide to record moving picture with a crazy thing called sound, gets pulled under my tanks. this ruins the whole tuck for warmth idea. Plus, the mic pack gets taped to my upper thigh. And when I say upper thigh, I mean the place that the priest touches you when he wants to be your friend. All day long guys, the sound man, nice person, keeps having to strap and restrap the pack to my upper thigh, and in doing so, I flash him more than enough shots of my hot pink colored crotch. I was wearing tights! I don't think he expected to have his retinas burnt out that day, but I hear the company has good workman's comp, so I don't feel so bad. He'll be the only sound guy deaf in both eyes.

So now I am headed BACK to the float barns to tour the floats prior to them hitting Colorado Blvd. this New Year's. And that means another 7 am call time. I love this stuff, so I totally don't mind much. Or I could just totally be lying because the morning sun feels like the sting of of a vicious pit bull attack on my jugular. Anyhow, I will be joining the live commercial-free team coverage of the parade again this year in pasadena, bright and early on New year's morning! I LOVE this stuff! I love the flowers. I love the floats. I love the pageantry. And I love never having to make plans and go out on New year's Eve. :) That's the best part!

Watch it Tuesday morning. And 'Making of' special will be on HGTV right before. If you're not up, set the tivo.

Chat soon.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Merry Christmas

hey you all! Happy holidays!

Now there are sooo many things to discuss, I have to somehow shave it down to just a few bullet points because I have to run.

1. chocolate - I did a 'sin is in' Sweets shoot for CW NOW. And what did I do for 5.5 hours friday before xmas? I went to 4 locations all throughout Los Angeles, and gorged myself on chocolate. That's right. I ate some sweet, delicious, hand crafted truffles. They were amazing, all with interesting 'juxtapositions of flavor profiles' (look at me go!) like smoked sea salt and 7 Japanese Spices on top of hand crafted chocolates. Comparte is where I ate probably around 7,000 truffle chocolates. It was on Barrington in LA. And not only was I eating my way to obesity at this joint, but my camera crew and I decided we needed some excitement in the form of 'I Dare You's. What did we do? It's kind of an innocuous game when played at work, so my challenge was to get the chocolatier to say 'karate' without asking him to say it outright, nor telling him of the game. Now we all know I am klassy with a 'k' and as smooth as Rico Suave, so what do I do? Well I wait until he is helping these two lovely ladies at the register get their chosen morsels of goodness and then I break out into 3rd degree questioning about that movie, you know, that Ralph Machio became famous in? And who was that great Japanese Actor? Ray, Jay? Oh, and what was that martial art he practiced? It was kung-fu huh? wasn't it? Now sure I sounded like a complete idiot, but friends, let me just say, I won! What you may ask, did I get for my small triumph on behalf of mankind? Well, as my cameraman says, I get 'one point.' I felt more ripped off than when I paid full price for a ticket to see "Men in Black 2'. Anyhow, long story short, I went to 4 places, ate at 4 places, and got sick to my stomach for 2 days! Most women would have died to me in my position. Me? When my producer asked me to have just one more piece, I shot her a stink eye so bad, I think she bathed in tomato juice that night. My bad. Crazy as it was, I totally enjoyed myself. Plus I got to hang with 'Food Dude' Kevin Roberts who loves food more than I do! And he edumakated me on some stuff! It was fun!

2. I will be hosting the Rose Parade 2008 and the 'Making of Rose Parade 2008' again this year! Yeah! Now you all know I am absolutely looney so when they ask me to come and talk about flowers, it is honestly the only thing i can think about for months on end! I absolutely LOVE the Rose Parade and the floats! Plus all the controversy over the China and Beijing Olympics floats. Jeez guys, it's just a bunch of flowers and seeds on papier mache. Are protesters with signs necessary? Anyhow, my call time for these two awesome projects? Oh, a lovely 5 and and 4 am! Yeehaw! I cannot wait! You can watch them both on New Year's Day 2008 on HGTV. I believe the party starts around 6 am, so set your coffee maker.

3. I hope you all had wonderful holidays and got everything you asked Santa for this year. Hugs.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

On the road to better skin

Not like I have ever been told, 'wooooh, there lady! you need yourself a face lift!' But when CW NOW requested that I put my money maker aka. face up to be poked, prodded, polished, creamed, pulled, lasered, and more all in the name of good tv! Woot.

So being a sensible woman in my twonties, I thought, why not give it a go? I have never really been to a dermatologist...ok, that is a complete lie. Once I went into my doctor's office because I had Mt,. Vesuvious about to blow on my face, and I thought, even though I was just a producer tehn, this cannot be humanly possible. I cannot stand to live in a world where my face is the playground for volcanic zits. GAWD. Oh wait, where was i going? oh right. So i got a referral to a dermatologist to see this one zit. And when I went back to my doctor, she said, 'i cannot believe the doctor who was seeing you while I was on maternity leave referred you to a dermatologist. it was a zit.' Thanks lady.

Anyhoo, back to this visit to a famous Beverly Hills doctor. His name is Dr. Lancer, and he is known as the dude who gives a lot of the A-listers in LA their glow on teh red carpet. Supposedly his clients include Beyonce, Kate Hudson, Denise Richards, and some other people. As the in-depth reporter I am, I decide to go to the doctor's office and havce him perform some of the 'maintenance work' he performs on the stars to let them glow while they flow down the red carpet. This included Micropolishing, Matrix IR laser treatment, and an oxygen and placenta facial.

Let's start with Micropolishing. Now remember, during the entire 1.5 hours or so of these treatments, I am on camera the entire time, and I have to look like i am having a ball! And most of the time I am, until it comes to poking. So Micropolishing. Micropolishing is like microdermabrasion, where the doctor goes in with a device and exfoliates the dead cells off your face. Dr. Lancer's little tool was different. when you look at it, you see a polisher that looks much like the device a dentist uses to polish your teeth when you go in for your cleanings. Now instead of this little bristle at the end of the device, imagine a tiny suction cup with a little bit of crystal in there and comes out at the suction cup sucks your skin into the head of the device. That's right. So the doctor asks me what it felt like. I wanted to say, well it feels like one of those sucker fish I used to have in my fish tank went out into the world, fell in love with a barracuda, had little sucky toothed babies, and that baby found my face and started teaching me a lesson. But since there are cameras on me, I said, 'It feels interesting, like a little suction and I can feel something polishing my skin.' Consumate professional is my middle name. ;)

Now for the Matrix IR laser. Dr. Lancer was kind enough to note that my skin was pretty healthy and tone and in 30 or so years, I will not have to worry about huge wrinkles. YES! Thank you mom for the good genes. But to show off his 'star treatment,' I underwent a laser treatment anyhow. And on that note, have you ever noticed how 'laser' is very similar to 'taser'? Yup. Well lemme tell you something, being close to naked with one of those flimsy paper gowns on, but still wearing my cowboy boots, I don't even know, please don't ask, I was lying on my back as Dr. Lancer starts putting all this jelly, which he so sweetly describes as 'Just like KY Jelly'. I swear to god! What woman wants to hear that her doctor is gonna squirt a sexual lubricant on her face after he puts a little blindfold on her?!!!!?! So he squirts all this jelly on my face, then continues to rub it in. And then a question gets asked. Dude! That jelly got really close to my mouth and when i had to TALK, it went in!!!!! IN!!!!! aaarrrggghhhhh! And then the 'treatment' begins. So he puts this laser on my face and runs it around while shooting these little tiny pulses of light onto my face. How does it feel? Honestly, it was kinda uncomfortable. It was as if someone was using a very low wattage shocker on my skin. It was not totally crazy, but I like to think I blow things way out of proportion and that is what makes my life exciting. Honestly, when they asked me how it felt, all I could think was, 'Man, no wonder laser rhymes with taser.'

And then came the oxygen and placenta masks. Now oxygen mask is no big deal, they take this little beaker thingie filled with clean oxygen and gently blow it on my face. It was really relaxing actually, since I was lying comfortably down on a large lounger and there was a heating pad on my lower back. They do know how to treat a girl! And then it ended. Now comes the placenta! So the aestetician takes out the jar of stuff and starts smearing it on my face, saying the placenta is really healthy and hydrating for my skin. Great. My only question, where does this placenta come from? Cows? Dogs? Chickens? She says, 'humans.' My first thought, 'OMG are there just people who troll the hospitals and once a baby is born, they do a knee slide into the delivery room with a pan in hand to catch the placenta?' But being a lady and on camera, I keep these thoughts to myself. Or at least to myself until the camera turns off and I start to type. hello! :) So after finding out that this is human placenta, culled in an FDA approved lab, and worth a lot of money, I am still a little uncomfortable, but getting ok with the idea of having human detritus purposely smeared onto my face. Then she gets it close to my mouth. OMG. I must have kicked a kitten in a previous life to have this happen. Do you know where placenta comes from? Starbucks doesn't use it as a coffee flavoring, so could we not give Chi-Lan the taste sensation?! Anyhow, after freaking out all in my head and laughing about how the placenta was peeling on my face after we finish the facial, I have ot say, I was feeling quite moisturized and glowy. :)

Whatever that doctor did seemed to work, as I didn't look like crap. And you can see the story on CW NOW this Sunday. Check it yo! Then holler back.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Unusual Bruises

You ever just wake up in the morning and think, OUCH! Damn! What the hell happened and why does the top of my shoulder feel so bruised? Those my friends are the markings of a good holiday party. That's right. CW NOW had their holiday party over the weekend and it was open bar. Hello, that is the only language I speak when I am out and about. So...everyone was there, every producer, assistant, exec, PA, everyone. And I was partaking in my slight share of the freeflowing of drinks. I kept it light and ladylike with what I call 'bellinis' (hold pinky up when saying this to get the full effect), champagne topped with a splash of cranberry, because honestly, who knows what label of bubbly they're packing back there. For all I know, the champagne could have the soul of Nick Nolte in his DUI picture, but with a splash of juice, it sings like Whitney Houston before Bobby Brown.

Did I ever tell you about the time I woke up with the WORST headache in San Francisco? I was visiting some old friends after I had moved down and was staying at a hotel at the Wharf. Well I wake up to this banging headache, thinking, wow, did I really drink that much? I thought my lush days were done and done. Then after begging the bellman to bring me up some aspirin, and as my bitch of a friend, also hung over, just moaned and made me fetch the pills from the door, I finally jumped in the shower and decided to wash my hair. Yes, the memory is that vivid. Anyhoo, as I am washing, I touch the back of my head as I am scrubbing, and I let out the most volatile scream since Janet Lee in Psycho. I swear I heard wolves holler back at a girl. Now how the hell did the back of my skull be pounced on so bad? I don't remember getting punched. As I explained to my friend sleeping in the bed next to me about my weird head thing, he said, you don't remember? You got into a fight with a door. And then it all came rushing back. That damn door knob was giving me the evil eye and I needed to show it a lesson. After a small tangle with the wine cube at my friend's place, I decided the door needed to be taken down a notch, and boom! Door knob, meet my head, head meet the door knob.

Oh back to my holiday party story, so much debauchery to speak of but I am late for work. So I have to run. I am working the premiere of Charlie Wilson's War, a funny political story about one man who didn't seem so good at his job, doing great things in his position. and it wasn;t in the lateral position either! Although he was known for that. Did that joke make it anywhere? anyone, anyone, bueller?

Sunday, December 09, 2007

For some reason, the paint never stopped flowing

I swear to god, this Friday and Saturday I helped my mom paint her bedroom and then trim and touch-ups Saturday. Now this is on top of the weekend from painting hell and an additional weekend of painting more stuff, including the chairs, shrubs, flowers, rails, tiles, nails, cough medicine bottles, aspirin, and anything else that can be primed. GAWD! It has gotten to the sad point where I spend most all my free time at Lowes or Home Depot getting materials during the work week only to look oh so forward to glory of the painting weekend. I've convinced myself all this painting is cardio and can stand in for the gym. No bones about it!

Anyhow, has anyone evcer gotten such a bad case of the cankles your shoes don't fit on your feet any longer? Well it happened to me. If I were in the Family Guy episode where Bill Clinton takes his harem of large ladies out on the town, my canckles would woo Clinton so bad, he'd forget all about those 20 year old interns. So because I can't stand being awake and for about 14 hours on a plane in coach, I decided to take matters in my own hands and take a sleeping pill to make them hours just fly away. And fly they did, but as they flew, they somehow inserted about 10 gallons of water into my ankles. This is how it happened. I wake up after sleeping for a good 6-7 hours. I try and insert my 'hmmm my ankles look a little puffy and unusual' feet into my sandles. Let's just say that I wasn't able to shove my feet into my sandles to make it to the bathroom. Even with grease, these whales would not have made it into these shoes. So what do I do? I end up going to the bathroom in socks - no hard soles. And the first thing I do when I get into the bathroom? Look for sprinkles, and I ain't talking about cupcakes.

So Thailand was amazing. What did I do for the wonderous three days? Well the most important thing to know is once I found out that massages are all of $6, I got as many as I possibly could. And I scored 4 of them! bravo Chi-Lan. Ok, so we shot for the first two days non-stop, talking about all the fun things Thailand had to offer, then off to Ko Pha Ngan for the Full Moon Party (insert drum and bass music here). And that party was sooo great! I didn't get to enjoy much of it honestly because I had to work - a lot - but I did get enough time to dance with some guys I met that are from Las Vegas, explore some of the drink stands and walk down the beach. Great! Can I just say that I love the fact that as kids on the beach, we play non-stop with pails. Well at the biggest beach party in the world in Thailand, adults drink their juice out of the pails. How crazy is it to see all these adults, a few of whom are shirtless (thank you big guy in the sky), carrying around little alcoholic buckets with colorfull bendy straws. And there was even this one Irish lad who saw the simple problem of holding these little pails and walking, not being able to easily being able to sip, so he connected 5 bendy straws to be able to walk and lounge but always have the straw right in tongue reach. I guess bending the elbow to bring the bucket o' alcohol would be too much work.

And now I can get down to business. Baja Fresh. Now I am a huge fan of Mexican food, and really do like to eat Baja even if it isn't real Mexican. But hey, it's good. Or at least I thought. Baja, you bitch. you have wronged the wrong girl. so I have eaten twice at Baja recently, ready to partake in the fine dining that is adulterated mexican in california. Little did I realize that I would be paying for the solidified diareehea (yes I am a word smith) that is coming from my once loved chain restaurant. Now I know that this has all been 'to-go' orders but still. I ordered a tostada without chicken, because, well I don't eat meat. So what do I get? i get a tostada, and no, I didn't add chicken. What do I get instead? I get a tostada, but what are those little bits of white thready sh*%? Wow, chicken. And all the wonderful Baja dude did was slap some chicken into the dish, realize it isn't supposed to have chicken and like a responsible and sensible man, the just takes the chicken off. Great dude. Thanks ot you and your mom for raising you. I can see her efforts were not wasted on just a bag of skin. So last week I decide to give my old Baja another go at winning back my heart with an order of my usual salad and what do I get? Well as a friend who saw my salad said, 'what the f*ck is that? There's only lettuce.' Yup, my salad only had lettuce. I am not sure what happened to the beans, rice, cheese, dressing, etc., but I did specifically taste teh bitterness of life wielded into the plastic container by a short order cook that really hates the world who can't order meat thrown haphazardly into a tortilla. That's it. I don't want to live in a world where I can't get a good tostada. But then again, I think I should just stop going to Baja Fresh. Make me waste $6 once Baja, shame on you, make me waste $12, shame on me. You guys been feeling all that rain? It's god crying because Baja sucks so bad.