Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Dom! Doom! Doom! Doom! DOOOOM!

Cool evening. Northwinds at about 10 mph. I get in my car with my sister to catch a new flick, DOOM. As soon as I heard the title, I didn’t rush. Honestly, it wasn’t on my MUST SEE list. But I went anyhow. I thought, well, why not? A small school of fish could have persuaded me to do otherwise, but damnit, I went.

I get in the theater and it is 1/3 filled with press. The other seats were being filled by fanboys. Bring on the Red Vines because it was gonna be a night!

Doom is a science-fiction action adventure that takes place on Mars. Somehow, someway, these humans in the future find an arc that transports them from earth to Mars, where crazy beings are chasing and killing humans for their life-force and Simpsons DVD collections.

There is a storyline about chromosomes, a doctor, a family, and of course, the Sarge. I won't spoil the movie for you gamers and non-gamers, but I will say this, it's gorey.

I expected the film to be really bad, with horrible lines and even worse acting, but I have to say it wasn't as bad as I expected. I would actually benture to say it is decent, maybe because I was expecting nothing, and was pleasantly surprised. And Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson does command a screen when he is on. The lines are very out of hte videogame, with simple staccado verbage that incites laughter, but the movie doesn't take itself seriously at all, so it works out.

When the movie let out, I got up like the other 1000 people there, and I swear, when I rose from the seat, my head must have pierced this protective forcefield of decent air, and I entered the world of stank BO! Oh My! Do theater patrons think that with the AC on you don't have to wear any deoderant? Jebus. Save me. To the ladies room! Note to the dudes, if you have ladies, and i know a couple of you do, they may not enjoy the film. This is why. I went to the ladies room right after the film and never have I ever encountered as much clamour nor discussion of a film while waiting for a stall as I did here. And all the ladies said, 'it's too gorey. It's too violent. It's too bloody.' So you crazy bloodthirsty animals out there, this is the movie for you!

And of many of the actors I have recently had the pleasure of meeting, The Rock has been one of the most impressive in person. He is incredibly gracious, kind, and in love with delivering entertainment. One thing he said when I talked to him about doing his own stunts in the film is 'I know the value of a dollar and if you pay your money to see this film, you don't wanna just see the back of my head here or there, no. You see me doing all that crazy stuff up there.' A man that's such a tall drink of water is a man I like.

8 comments:

Brent said...

You have allowed us into the mind of Chi-Lan.... and there are Rocks up there.. he he Tall Cool ones.

Marcus said...

lol, you've just gone over most of the reasons I haven't been to a theater in 2 years. Most movies get a DVD release with 6 months anyway. I bet this movie would be better on DVD anyway, with a clear, crisp picture.

widescreen said...

cool, i can't wait to check it out when it hits bit-torr...i mean go to the theater, pay for my ticket and watch it too. soooo can we see a pic of your sister?? and is she single?

Chocolate Bean said...

Seems like a good movie...

Marcus said...

hey chi lan, what happened to those Stuff articles you were writing? Were they published?

Zack said...

If movies based on video games are wrong, then I don't want to be right.

Chi-Lan Lieu said...

I like your picture Zach.

Zack said...

Well hey...thanks!