MOVIE REVIEW - TROPIC THUNDER

A movie about a fake movie with a white guy playing a black guy in a fake war really doesn’t seem like it would have basis for anything but failure. Surprise. TROPIC THUNDER is a movie that delivers laughs and a good story in a spoof that speaks to a larger audience than I ever expected.

Starting with its guns a blazin’, TROPIC THUNDER introduces its three main characters via their vehicle of fame. Alpa Chino (Brandon T. Jackson) promotes his "Booty Sweat" energy drink and "Bust-A-Nut" candy bar, while performing his hit song, "I Love Tha' Pussy". Then we meet action star Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller) starring in his latest film failure, 'Scorcher VI: Global Meltdown'. The next trailer features comedian Jeff "Fatty" Portnoy (Jack Black), playing the entirety of "America's favorite obese family" in the highly flatulent 'The Fatties: Fart 2'. The final trailer, and my absolute favorite, 'Satan's Alley', features Australian superhunk Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey Jr.) and Tobey Maguire (as himself) as two monks who begin a passionate affair. This story has got to be optioned by now.

Now that you have an idea of how ‘large’ each of these stars is, it comes as no surprise that while filming their current big-blockbuster disaster war movie, the egos begin to clash, and people lose control. To rectify the situation, the director tries a ‘guerilla style shooting’ tactic to get real emotions out of these solipsistic Hollywood A-listers. As soon as they embark on their new ‘sets’, things begin spiraling out of control and the actors playing military-trained human war weapons get thrown into a battle against a 12-year old drug lord in Cambodia. And no, it isn’t Maddox Jolie Pitt.

With a movie that has Downey playing a white dude who undergoes an experimental operation to darken his skin to play a black war hero, you know controversy will befall this film. But that isn’t where the cries for foul play arise. It actually stems from the loose usage of ‘retard’ in the film to describe a character Stiller’s character played in the film, ‘Simple Jack’. After hearing all the hubbub and reading that there was a call for an apology and removal of the word from the film, I expected the offensiveness to fly before I even got into my movie seat. But I watched, I was awake, and I laughed. To this movie lover, the word ‘retard’ was used in context and more exemplified the idiocy and stupidity of the two characters than it did reflect negatively upon the mentally challenged. I honestly don’t understand why this happened.

Anyhow, let’s get back to Downey’s character Lazarus. With a lesser actor, I think this couldn’t have been pulled off, but every single time I see Downey hit the screen, I realize how talented and fluid this actor is. From this summer’s IRON MAN to Lazarus, he tackles such a silly character with depth and humor. Stiller plays the same neurotic head case he usually does and it really works in this situation. Black plays a heroin addict pretty well. And the three leading men who usually headline movies work well as an ensemble.

The cameos are never ending in this film, and a great game can be just watching and seeing how many stars you can name when they appear onscreen. I absolutely loved the supporting role Tom Cruise has as Les Grossman, the media mogul behind all this craziness. Many publications have said this role is resurrecting his career, and it totally has. He is once again likeable to me.

In short this movie is full of laughs, silly giggles, full out knee slappers, and guffaws in disbelief. This is one of those films so rooted in intelligent stupidity you can’t help but enjoy yourself. In the beginnings you think, a movie really can’t sustain this level of dumbassness in its characters and still have them remain likeable. But the truth is, it does. With smart dialogue, a great characters, and talented actors, the story never falls flat as the insanity ensues.

I was lucky enough to attend a talk with the producer where he imparted some interesting tidbits to us about the film. One of the coolest things? 12-year old drug lord Tran, (Brandon Soo Hoo) was the second actor the producers saw and totally fell in love. Not only that, something I didn’t understand…Tran was originally supposed to speak Cantonese (in Cambodia?!) and then the part was changed to Mandarin because one of the screenwriters was fluent in Mandarin. Cool. Also, Tom Cruise, as big of a star as he was, actually talked for a long while with Stiller while the script was still being written and helped create the Grossman character he later ended up bringing to the screen. Cruise also asked for a make-up test to make sure everything looked good, something actors of his fame level usually never even agree to! And suggested he have really large hands. Plus my favorite thing? Cruise said ‘Grossman should dance’. No rhyme or reason. The character should just dance…and that dance was funny! So go, get out of the summer heat and laugh just enough to pee pee just a bit in your pants. That’s the true test of comedy.

Hermes space craft

You are looking at the next gen in affordable space travel. I know, you didn't even know there was a 'now gen' in affordable space travel! Anyhow, the reason why the Hermes is so impressive is because the tech inside is all off the shelf!!! Can you believe that? So anyone can walk into a store and actually buy the tech found in this shuttle. Enjoy...

CB2

The first CB2 furniture store (one of my favs) opens on the west coast in SF and I have been dying to get here. I'm starving with a headache so the obvious solution is to hit this furniture store. Priorities lovely, know your priorities.

My hotel room for the week

My hotel room...this is not the CB 2 store, my crackberry got a fugged-up. No, friends, this is my actual hotel room. And yes, that is a sink in the corner. Now i am currently in San Francisco, my old stomping grounds, attending the Intel Developers Forum. Fun Fun, and decided to stay close. Good idea. However, this simple room, as cute and stylish as it may be, is less than 10 x 10 without a closet and I ain't in NYC! This is crazy! plus, before you get to the room, you cross over the 'hall bath' and 'hall WC'. That means toilet. yes, there are hall baths and toilets in this hotel. I am staying in a hostel. But my room has a private bath...that means a tub and toilet, but again the sink is in my room. This tells me the bathroom doorknob is the most disgusting thing i have ever touched. Luckily i have the olympics to watch to take my mind off my own silliness. :)

MOVIE REVIEW - DEATH RACE

Men being men; driving fast cars. Gorgeous women riding in fast cars. Weapons being used on fast cars. Oh, and did I mention fast cars?

DEATH RACE is the remake of the cult film, DEATH RACE 2000. And much like its original, DEATH RACE takes a lot of liberties when it comes to cheesy dialogue, excessive gore, and a winking eye at the state of our world. You wouldn’t think a movie starring Jason Statham driving hard and fast would do that, but hey, it was a slow day at the Multiplex for me.

Directed by Paul W. S. Anderson, the movie revolves around an ex-con, Jensen Ames, played by an incredibly rock-hard and ripped Statham (even my ego got a pounding after seeing him do the iron cross in the film), who is forced by the warden of an infamous prison, played by Joan Allen, to compete in a race where the driver can win his freedom, or meet his death. *ooooohhhhhh* Sounds so serious.

Anderson, who some of my friends in the ‘industry’ like to call ‘Milla baby daddy’ goes all out when it comes to directing this crazy post-industrial view of our world. Allow me to be frank; Anderson directs some of the bloodiest, most violent stuff I’ve recently seen, like half-dead people getting up just to have their heads whacked off by another weapon. Is this necessary? When you’re dealing with a bleak world where unemployment has reached an all time high, economy sucks and these men are just ‘being men in prison,’ I don’t really expect them to be weaving baskets and growing flowers on a mountainside. But wow, the amount of violence seemed like overkill, and honestly the direction was heavy-handed. Just to be fair, I have to admit I don’t play ‘Grand Theft Auto’ on a daily basis, I don’t own THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS DVDs, and I don’t race cars on the streets of LA. Although I did have an incident where I did rev up to a Mini-van. All’s I’m gonna say is I smoked that b*tch!

Now let’s talk about casting. This is one motley crew of actors! Sure, I can understand Statham in the lead, but how did they convince Joan Allen to play the warden?! I can understand wanting to play against type and all, but this just seemed like an odd choice. She plays this manipulative, powerful, money hungry warden with as much skill as she can, but considering some of the fromage-heavy lines she had to deliver, I am not sure how she said, ‘yes! I’ve got to do this film!’. So I stepped up and asked her point blank at the press junket of DEATH RACE. I sat with Allen and asked, ‘what drew you to a movie like this? You’re usually the moral pillar in a film.’ Her answer? She really wanted to play a villain. Too bad she chose this movie to exercise that wish.

Tyrese Gibson adds an air of hardness as ‘Machine Gun Joe,’ however with few lines, and many hardcore fistfights, you don’t really get to know Joe, or care about his and Statham’s character’s rivalry.

Ian McShane plays Coach, but lacks a mean edge that would send a man away to the worst jail in America. Oh and then there’s the oddest member of the crew, Ulrich, a corpulent, nerdy, glasses wearing number cruncher with a stutter played by Jason Clarke. Now if I’m complaining about how Coach got sent to this jail, I have no words to describe why Bill Gates Jr. would end up here as well, unless he channeled Lizzy Borden, then kicked a litter of kittens in the face, the judge’s kittens, while she was nursing them herself, from milk she collected from their ailing cat mom.

To sum it up, I found the movie loud, gory, violent for the sake of violence, and the dialogue laughable. But honestly I went to this movie with my sister, the loveliest and smartest human being I know, and she thought this movie was a really fun ride. And yes, she used those exact words. Ok, maybe she didn’t but the gist was clearly there. There you have it - An audacious race car movie where lives are as important as toe nail clippings finds a home on the silver screen. Silver’s gonna cry tonight. Unless you play lots of FPS or GTA, you can probably skip this one.

And notice, not one car pun...I'm a classy lady.