Sunday, May 13, 2007

this world is wack

OK, there are a couple of crazy things i have been meaning to mention on this blog, and i am sure you all have noticed it and are up in arms - outrage of a thousand fire hoses, if you will.

1. new fashion fad of pregnant shirts and dresses - now i cannot for the life of me understand why my shopping in Europe pretty much just consisted of me getting angry and silently waving my fist of fury at each store because all they stock currently are tops and dresses that are soooo full at the bust and bottom, they could fit the belly of a sextuplet mom-to-be whose fetuses are carrying their own twins. How can wearing parachutes on a daily basis look that appealing? I guess the hot weather works well with loose fitting clothing, but come on! So what do I do? I buy myself a green mu mu that would make many a man loving Al Bundy's mu mu jealous.

2. Fashion fad that almost blinded me - shortalls and overalls. OMG, can someone please tell me why fashion keeps trying to resurrect one of the worst fads of all time, pants and shorts with bibs for ADULTS? On children, these garments are ultra cute, but for the adults of the world, why are we trying to push the public's dependence on denim bibs, connected to pants? Sure the bibs and straps help hold those baggy pants up, but is there a belt phobia i am unaware of? If you're working in the yard or farm or car, sure, go ahead and jump in an overall or 2. if you're not, jump off a cliff cause you don't wanna know what'll happen if i see you walking down the street trying to 'bring back the shortall!' I will lose my sh*t. Hugs!

3. Our people seem to be devolving - or at least a certain woman who goes to the gym on Saturday afternoons is...
Tell me wonderful people, how can a woman think it's A OK to highlight her hair in the shared women's locker room at the local 24 hour fitness? I, an unsuspecting hand washer walk up to the sink at the gym this afternoon, am overtaken by an odd chemical smell. I look to my right towards the stalls, but before my eyes can fully whip the 90 degrees over, they are stopped, no stunted in movement, by an older woman...wearing only a towel...on her bottom half...with arms up...using a plastic squirt bottle to inject store bought hair dye into her roots. I don't know what shocked me more, the fact that her way large aureola breasts were hanging out loud and proud while she was maneuvering her youthful new hair color in and out of her roots, or if it was that I didn't recognize the name on the box of brown dye she had sitting right on the sink edge. Now if you'll indulge me, not like you haven't by letting me rant, I must give you some background on this gym. It is the only open 24-hours gym in the neighborhood, and honestly doesn't have the best nor newest equipment, but traffic going that way is pretty good, so i usually hit it when I am in the area. Today, I was in the area and around the aureola. Do I need to put up a sign that says, DON'T DYE HAIR IN SINK? I thought it was common gym etiquette.

and that is it for today.


mrbrent said...

First of all Chi-Lan ha ha I'm sorry you were booboozled by "way large aureola breasts" I just call them "Silver Dollar Nipples" but think of how easy it is for her babys to find them.

Now about the large European fashions... we down in the south have Wal-Mart for our XXX styles.. Trouble is Europeans are getting as fat as Americans. Wow.. you would have thought I was King Kong in Jakarta this past Feb. Most of the Asians there are whisper thin. I just could not find clothes there which fit me... I looked and looked. I am fat but not gi-normis.

I do think you would look cute in some Japanese Cosplay cloths... perhaps Babydoll Goth... that would be a cute look for you... and with or without way large aureola breasts, it is overtly sexual in a modest way.

Good to see the fire is over and you are back to your sassy self!!!!!

jon said...

Well originally I set out on a quest to find acceptance for wearing overalls out on the town. I don't think I am going to find that here ;-)

That is well worth the rant, though I don't think you will ever have to worry about your own hair.

jon said...

A long time ago, in a town far inland, did you live with a Meredith in a small white house?

jon said...

Once, about seven and a half years ago, I was doing laundry at a friends house and she showed me how to fold a fitted sheet. She said she used to work in a department store, which may have been true, but she is the only person I have seen fold one up like that.

I am sure you think you have some decent system where grab what pitiful corners there are and you wind up with a reasonable mess of fold by the end, but this was more like it came from the store.