Have I ever told you all of my stellar luck with hotel rooms in SF?
Now for the few of you who know me well, yes, I did live in SF for a
number of years and know it well. However, just because I used to
have a pied-de-terre, but that doesn't mean when I go back, I get to
stay there nor in a hotel of my choosing.
take for example my one night at the Sir Francis Drake on Powell. Now that is a lovely hotel, one of my favorite chains, Kimpton Hotels, runs that bad boy. And I got a nice room really up high so I cannot hear the street noise. Now no one told the hotel that putting me up on the 15th floor with a nice view of Union Square would not drown out the drum circle that decided to form in front of the hotel to welcome and wake me up in the middle of the night. But then again, i was in SF, was anything but this expected? Also, as soon as I entered the stylish and well appointed room, I thought, nice. Then i looked to my left, the wall that partitions the bathroom from the sleeping area, and low and behold. The wall was undulating towards the bed I was gonna sleep in. Ok at that moment, i thought, crap! This is sooooo 'Nightmare on Elm Street'. I um, well, I....I went into the bathroom to make sure it was water damage caused by the tub so i could sleep easy knowing Freddie wasn't gonna come after me once the Sand Man made his fateful visit. Nope, no such luck. That wall was up against the sink, no water damage from this bathroom. So i tell myself, it is OBVIOUSLY from upstairs. OK, that makes me feel better, but my one question of the night is...why would you put vertical fabric wall paper over a wall that juts out like it's pissed at your face and ready to exact revenge - all in a mint green color? The wall juts OUT! that will not and cannot be hidden by vertical wall paper.
And then there is my visit to the Pickwick hotel in SF, the lovely hotel in the heart of homeless San Francisco that I stayed in while attending GDC, the Game Developer's Conference. Now let it be known that i used to walk by this hotel, only during daylight hours, and though it is right next to the newly renovated shopping center in downtown, that don't mean nothing to the ladies and gentlemen of the night. That hotel is getting itself together, but luckily, it still had the odor of 'The Shining' when I stayed there. Yeah. Ok, so as soon as I walk in, the guy is pretty nice, since I am the only one checking in to stay overnight and I am alone, versus with someone for a couple hours. So i get sent up to my room, and as soon as i get off the elevator, I swear i thought Jack Nicholson was gonna pop and and scream 'All work and no play make Jack a dull boy'. But that aside, i rush to my hotel room to check out the safe haven i can call my humble abode for the night. As soon as I walk into the golden wall papered room, i see them. There are paintings all over the walls, all portraits of women from the 19th century style of painting...and they are all STARING at me. So to keep my brain from jumping out of my head, I decide to move around the room a little and of course their eyes follow me! This is absolutely no 'magic picture' crap where you have to focus to see it, these eyes were just there, gazing....and they obviously had nothing to do, even the lady in the canoe was staring! GAWD! So i sit myself down on the oddly upholstered bed, which has the little tuft buttons and lyrical coziness one can only expect from the deserted hotel Jack Nicholson runs....and I look at the wall. Now remembering my experience with the Nightmare on Elm Street wall, where I seriously thought Freddie was behind there and pushing through it, I search this wall. Whew! It is flat. But of course, this old room isn't exactly straight. I see that they put in the effort to apply moulding, only to have it crooked to accentuate the ceiling's unparalleled nature. Gawd. The spooky staring painted ladies, The Shining hallway, eerie elevator and now crooked ceiling.
I think i just need to check into hotels earlier than 11 pm. And go in blindfolded. Problems solved!
Monday, March 10, 2008
Thursday, February 07, 2008
GUNG HAY FAT CHOY!
Hello all! Happy Chinese New Year! It is the year of the rat, 4706.
Do you all know what kind of frenzy i have been whipping myself into to prepare myself and my home for the new year? Well for you Chinese New Year novices out there, please allow me to tell you that to usher in the new year, it's a really good idea to clean your house from floor to ceiling. You want to make sure that you sweep and throw out all of the old year, including all the bad luck that may have settled, and your home is ready for all the good luck to come in and rest in your home for the entire year! I love it!
So what do I do? Well I have bveen redoing my closets for the last eon, and finally started tackling all the little household projects I have wanted to do, like redoing the AC unit, measuring out a fridge, cleaning out the office, bedroom, hanging pictures, re-orienting my living room, and anything else I can do to make my life that much more difficult. And it did! Can I just tell you that in the last few days of going crazy in my house for the last 4 days have sucked out all my funny and energy to the point that I will set my alarm for, oh say, 9 am so i can get my car washed, get to the gym, run errands and see family, my body will look at me like Arnold looked at Willis and just say 'Whachu talking about Willis?!' Then slap my face down and pin me in bed. My I open up a mean can of whoop-ass on myself. And that is why I have somehow gone crazy and broken down my day by the 15 minute mark. Yeah. I'm frustrated, angry, and doing waaayyy too much furniture moving in a short time span. I feel like I'm hopped up on the juice. Is this how the Giants won? And can I just say I called that mutha! ugh! That's right!
May the year of the rat bring much prosperity, happiness and success to you all.
Do you all know what kind of frenzy i have been whipping myself into to prepare myself and my home for the new year? Well for you Chinese New Year novices out there, please allow me to tell you that to usher in the new year, it's a really good idea to clean your house from floor to ceiling. You want to make sure that you sweep and throw out all of the old year, including all the bad luck that may have settled, and your home is ready for all the good luck to come in and rest in your home for the entire year! I love it!
So what do I do? Well I have bveen redoing my closets for the last eon, and finally started tackling all the little household projects I have wanted to do, like redoing the AC unit, measuring out a fridge, cleaning out the office, bedroom, hanging pictures, re-orienting my living room, and anything else I can do to make my life that much more difficult. And it did! Can I just tell you that in the last few days of going crazy in my house for the last 4 days have sucked out all my funny and energy to the point that I will set my alarm for, oh say, 9 am so i can get my car washed, get to the gym, run errands and see family, my body will look at me like Arnold looked at Willis and just say 'Whachu talking about Willis?!' Then slap my face down and pin me in bed. My I open up a mean can of whoop-ass on myself. And that is why I have somehow gone crazy and broken down my day by the 15 minute mark. Yeah. I'm frustrated, angry, and doing waaayyy too much furniture moving in a short time span. I feel like I'm hopped up on the juice. Is this how the Giants won? And can I just say I called that mutha! ugh! That's right!
May the year of the rat bring much prosperity, happiness and success to you all.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture edition
There is a rousing game of Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture edition happening in my living room and all I can do is type my blog entry. I am soooo tired!
What did I do to make myself so worn out today? Well it started off well enough. I took my sister and a few of our girlfriends to a new salon to get their hair cut. I thought it would be fun for everyone to get a new do on me. Then I got the bill - from starbucks. The start of the day. Damn. I knew I was in for a stationwagon of a credit card bill. I guess I should have thought of that before I offered - and I'm still talking about the coffee run. Just ranting. The girls got their hair cut and only 1 out of 4 hated her hair. Now that's not bad odds.
And for some god for saken reason, Los Angeles is the capital of traffic mayhem, the center of the evil universe for the devil's traffic heaven. Why does the horned one really see the need to create traffic jams that happen when people just slow down at a curve on every single freeway in Los Angeles county? Why can't we just have one road that lets you travel at 65 mph without traffic, this I ask you. If there is a masters student out there looking to write a thesis and then win the nobel peace prize before the age of 35, may i recommend you solve LA's simple traffic question? And by solve, I mean eliminate the driving competition. And by eliminate, I mean food poisoning all the way! That makes it almost impossible to sit for a standard amount of time in a car!
And then there was the 8 pm Chinese New Year Spectacular. Now I have to say I love me some Chinese New Year. I celebrate it every year with my parents. We cook huge meals, act on our best behavior, and love each other like normal families do only on holidays! :) Anyhow, when I heard there was going to be a performance celebrating the coolness of the holiday, I said, I need to get me some of those tickets. So i did. And twisting the arms of my family to go to a Chinese Art Performance is no small task. I get these 4 tickets thinking every person in my immediate family, all of Chinese descent, would jump at the opportunity to see the arts of their homeland. Not so sherlock! Mom complains she gets sleepy by 7 pm. Sister could care less, after she heard slight rumors that there are FaLungGang overtures. Brother intelligently went out of town, and then there were two, my dad and I. So we had two extra tickets which we gave away to family friends and that was easy enough. But the adventure is just beginning.....
I have to continue this later though. I sleepy.
What did I do to make myself so worn out today? Well it started off well enough. I took my sister and a few of our girlfriends to a new salon to get their hair cut. I thought it would be fun for everyone to get a new do on me. Then I got the bill - from starbucks. The start of the day. Damn. I knew I was in for a stationwagon of a credit card bill. I guess I should have thought of that before I offered - and I'm still talking about the coffee run. Just ranting. The girls got their hair cut and only 1 out of 4 hated her hair. Now that's not bad odds.
And for some god for saken reason, Los Angeles is the capital of traffic mayhem, the center of the evil universe for the devil's traffic heaven. Why does the horned one really see the need to create traffic jams that happen when people just slow down at a curve on every single freeway in Los Angeles county? Why can't we just have one road that lets you travel at 65 mph without traffic, this I ask you. If there is a masters student out there looking to write a thesis and then win the nobel peace prize before the age of 35, may i recommend you solve LA's simple traffic question? And by solve, I mean eliminate the driving competition. And by eliminate, I mean food poisoning all the way! That makes it almost impossible to sit for a standard amount of time in a car!
And then there was the 8 pm Chinese New Year Spectacular. Now I have to say I love me some Chinese New Year. I celebrate it every year with my parents. We cook huge meals, act on our best behavior, and love each other like normal families do only on holidays! :) Anyhow, when I heard there was going to be a performance celebrating the coolness of the holiday, I said, I need to get me some of those tickets. So i did. And twisting the arms of my family to go to a Chinese Art Performance is no small task. I get these 4 tickets thinking every person in my immediate family, all of Chinese descent, would jump at the opportunity to see the arts of their homeland. Not so sherlock! Mom complains she gets sleepy by 7 pm. Sister could care less, after she heard slight rumors that there are FaLungGang overtures. Brother intelligently went out of town, and then there were two, my dad and I. So we had two extra tickets which we gave away to family friends and that was easy enough. But the adventure is just beginning.....
I have to continue this later though. I sleepy.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Surviving Tom, and I ain't talkin' Cruise
Before I get started on my life-threatening ride to Rose Parade glory, I would like to give a shout out to Brenda in San Diego who asked where my coat was from. I got it from Zara, a lovely Spanish chain that specializes in affordable fashions. And I got it recently, so it might still be available in the store. Good luck!
Ok, so you all know that I am not the BEST driver in the world. I mean, come on. I grew up driving in LA, and then moved to Hollywood. All I do is defensive driving. That is all well and good though. But when I am a passenger in a 15-passanger van, being driven from about 8 float barns all around the Los Angeles area by a man named Tom, an official driver for the parade, I assume I am in good hands. Well my friends, although I expected to come back alive, nothing prepared me for a ride that made me thank god I my underwear was clean that day.
So get this. I get to the hotel in Pasadena at 7 am, where we are supposed to meet. And the first thing I hear is we are behind schedule because one of the van drivers has hit a car – in the valet roundabout. Wow. I tell the producer, I hope I’m not riding in that van! And he says, ‘Oh but you are.’ Something told me I should have known.
As soon as we all load into the van, we meet Tom. He’s an older man with kind eyes and a happy smile. He’s dressed well in his official Rose Parade blazer, and comes around to introduce himself to all of us – lovely gesture. And as soon as he saddles up in the driver’s seat, with his 5 happy-go-lucky passengers, he asks nonchalantly if it would be ok to make a quick stop at his house. He says, ‘I want to pick up my prescription glasses.’ This is AFTER the guy hit a car in a valet roundabout that is all of 50 meters long, and a semi-circle, where no one can reach more than 5 mph while taking the turn. All the passengers look at each other with a huge smile, like, are you serious? Next thing I hear is Jann Carl, lovely co-host of Rose Parade 2008 and just and extraordinary human being, say quickly ‘YES! Anything you need to see.’ We then all bust out laughing. Is this for real? I swear this was an episode of Candid Camera.
We get under way to Tom’s house and drive out of Pasadena to neighboring San Marino, where his home is located. Now it’s probably all of 3 miles to his home, not far at all, but before we reach our destination, the passengers are all chatting, excited for the day, when all of a sudden, screech! Holy crap. We all jolt forward coffees in hand, wondering WTF. This is TF. The van pulls up behind a car at a 4-stop intersection. The car in front drives off, and it’s the other cars’ turns. Well not in Tom’s driving book. He starts putting the pedal to the metal and as the two other cars are about to crash into either sides of the van, his quick actions step on the brakes and stop us. At this point, my eyes grow so big with worry and the ENTIRE van is silent. We just don’t know how to handle the situation.
Now that was a deal, but not a huge deal. So we mosey along our way to visit all the barns, find out all the secret decorating materials and the big shows planned for the big day. It was totally fun. Until….dun, dun, dun. We’re back in Pasadena and are lost looking for the last float barn of the day. We are driving back and forth on Grevalia Street, I believe, and cannot figure out where the address is. We stop at a train track crossing, and as we start to pull out slowly, the track lights start flashing. I think, of course, we’re already late as it is, so this is just fitting. It’s like Alanis Morissette’s grammatically incorrect song, ‘Isn’t it Ironic’, when it isn’t ironic at all, but just an inconvenience. But hey, I guess we can all take artistic license if we’re playing God in a Kevin Smith movie. But I digress. As the lights start flashing, for some insane reason, Tom leaves his foots firmly on the brake. All of a sudden I notice the arm of the crossings drop onto the car and yell ‘The arm is gonna hit us!’. Not a lovely instance in my life. And as the rest of the car reacts with ‘Oh My God!’, Tom, a pro driver, decides to pull forward. Now if you’re reading this story, you probably realize that we are half in and half out of the railroad crossings, so if the arm is coming down, why on earth would you pull into the danger zone? Well, I wanted to ask Tom, but I was too concerned with the fact that as he pulled forward, the tracks ran diagonally underneath our large 15-person van, and he just stopped once he thought he had pulled past one of the tracks. So I start saying, pull up! Pull up! You don’t know what direction the train is coming from and our rear is still over the second set of tracks! Pull up! So as a man who uses his mind on a bi-weekly basis at least, Tom pulls the van up so the front of the van is meeting oncoming traffic. The only thing keeping our car’s headlights from kissing the oncoming traffic’s headlights is, of course, the railroad crossing arm. This situation is honestly soooo crazy insane, we all in the car laugh throughout the entire thing. I start forming the claw with my hand and drive it deep into my Executive Producer’s leg to let him know I blame him for my death, as I laugh uproariously at the fact that my life is in the hands of a man who forgot his prescription glasses the morning he is meant to chauffeur a bunch of media people. This was pretty surreal. And the best part, as we’re sitting in our van waiting for the train to come by, the metro with 4 cars comes by, actually slows down and comes to a complete stop at the intersection to look at the idiots who are inside the crossing. The train STOPPED to mock us, as to say, what dumb-asses! And we were!
To top off the chauffeur trip, we make the most illegal u-turn in front of two police cars that look like Transformers. It was two of those new Charger models. I thought, oh no. Now not only have we just risked our lives living fast and furious on train tracks, we’re so getting tickets! But surprisingly, they didn’t stop us. And we finally ended up getting back to the hotel, where we all had a very stiff drink. Stiffer than a rocket – to celebrate ‘Surviving Tom.’ And after getting out of the car from hell, I get into my car with a drink in me. Safety first! ;) And realize, this was the funniest near-death experience I have ever had. Well played Tom. Well played.
Oh, and did you all see the rose parade coverage? Did you see the morphing truck float from Honda spew too big flames and then singe itself? And what about the parade running behind so they made the Akashikita High School from Japan run around the corner! The commentary from the booth was ‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen marching bands run so fast!’ I swear to god, I love this parade! I am a complete float nerd! If there were a pin that read so, I’d sport it all day long. Float on, brothers and sisters, float on!
Ok, so you all know that I am not the BEST driver in the world. I mean, come on. I grew up driving in LA, and then moved to Hollywood. All I do is defensive driving. That is all well and good though. But when I am a passenger in a 15-passanger van, being driven from about 8 float barns all around the Los Angeles area by a man named Tom, an official driver for the parade, I assume I am in good hands. Well my friends, although I expected to come back alive, nothing prepared me for a ride that made me thank god I my underwear was clean that day.
So get this. I get to the hotel in Pasadena at 7 am, where we are supposed to meet. And the first thing I hear is we are behind schedule because one of the van drivers has hit a car – in the valet roundabout. Wow. I tell the producer, I hope I’m not riding in that van! And he says, ‘Oh but you are.’ Something told me I should have known.
As soon as we all load into the van, we meet Tom. He’s an older man with kind eyes and a happy smile. He’s dressed well in his official Rose Parade blazer, and comes around to introduce himself to all of us – lovely gesture. And as soon as he saddles up in the driver’s seat, with his 5 happy-go-lucky passengers, he asks nonchalantly if it would be ok to make a quick stop at his house. He says, ‘I want to pick up my prescription glasses.’ This is AFTER the guy hit a car in a valet roundabout that is all of 50 meters long, and a semi-circle, where no one can reach more than 5 mph while taking the turn. All the passengers look at each other with a huge smile, like, are you serious? Next thing I hear is Jann Carl, lovely co-host of Rose Parade 2008 and just and extraordinary human being, say quickly ‘YES! Anything you need to see.’ We then all bust out laughing. Is this for real? I swear this was an episode of Candid Camera.
We get under way to Tom’s house and drive out of Pasadena to neighboring San Marino, where his home is located. Now it’s probably all of 3 miles to his home, not far at all, but before we reach our destination, the passengers are all chatting, excited for the day, when all of a sudden, screech! Holy crap. We all jolt forward coffees in hand, wondering WTF. This is TF. The van pulls up behind a car at a 4-stop intersection. The car in front drives off, and it’s the other cars’ turns. Well not in Tom’s driving book. He starts putting the pedal to the metal and as the two other cars are about to crash into either sides of the van, his quick actions step on the brakes and stop us. At this point, my eyes grow so big with worry and the ENTIRE van is silent. We just don’t know how to handle the situation.
Now that was a deal, but not a huge deal. So we mosey along our way to visit all the barns, find out all the secret decorating materials and the big shows planned for the big day. It was totally fun. Until….dun, dun, dun. We’re back in Pasadena and are lost looking for the last float barn of the day. We are driving back and forth on Grevalia Street, I believe, and cannot figure out where the address is. We stop at a train track crossing, and as we start to pull out slowly, the track lights start flashing. I think, of course, we’re already late as it is, so this is just fitting. It’s like Alanis Morissette’s grammatically incorrect song, ‘Isn’t it Ironic’, when it isn’t ironic at all, but just an inconvenience. But hey, I guess we can all take artistic license if we’re playing God in a Kevin Smith movie. But I digress. As the lights start flashing, for some insane reason, Tom leaves his foots firmly on the brake. All of a sudden I notice the arm of the crossings drop onto the car and yell ‘The arm is gonna hit us!’. Not a lovely instance in my life. And as the rest of the car reacts with ‘Oh My God!’, Tom, a pro driver, decides to pull forward. Now if you’re reading this story, you probably realize that we are half in and half out of the railroad crossings, so if the arm is coming down, why on earth would you pull into the danger zone? Well, I wanted to ask Tom, but I was too concerned with the fact that as he pulled forward, the tracks ran diagonally underneath our large 15-person van, and he just stopped once he thought he had pulled past one of the tracks. So I start saying, pull up! Pull up! You don’t know what direction the train is coming from and our rear is still over the second set of tracks! Pull up! So as a man who uses his mind on a bi-weekly basis at least, Tom pulls the van up so the front of the van is meeting oncoming traffic. The only thing keeping our car’s headlights from kissing the oncoming traffic’s headlights is, of course, the railroad crossing arm. This situation is honestly soooo crazy insane, we all in the car laugh throughout the entire thing. I start forming the claw with my hand and drive it deep into my Executive Producer’s leg to let him know I blame him for my death, as I laugh uproariously at the fact that my life is in the hands of a man who forgot his prescription glasses the morning he is meant to chauffeur a bunch of media people. This was pretty surreal. And the best part, as we’re sitting in our van waiting for the train to come by, the metro with 4 cars comes by, actually slows down and comes to a complete stop at the intersection to look at the idiots who are inside the crossing. The train STOPPED to mock us, as to say, what dumb-asses! And we were!
To top off the chauffeur trip, we make the most illegal u-turn in front of two police cars that look like Transformers. It was two of those new Charger models. I thought, oh no. Now not only have we just risked our lives living fast and furious on train tracks, we’re so getting tickets! But surprisingly, they didn’t stop us. And we finally ended up getting back to the hotel, where we all had a very stiff drink. Stiffer than a rocket – to celebrate ‘Surviving Tom.’ And after getting out of the car from hell, I get into my car with a drink in me. Safety first! ;) And realize, this was the funniest near-death experience I have ever had. Well played Tom. Well played.
Oh, and did you all see the rose parade coverage? Did you see the morphing truck float from Honda spew too big flames and then singe itself? And what about the parade running behind so they made the Akashikita High School from Japan run around the corner! The commentary from the booth was ‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen marching bands run so fast!’ I swear to god, I love this parade! I am a complete float nerd! If there were a pin that read so, I’d sport it all day long. Float on, brothers and sisters, float on!
Friday, December 28, 2007
Rose Parade craziness!
So it is the 28th of December. And I have just spent 15.5 hours shooting 'The Making of Rose Parade 2008' special for HGTV. Wow, it was COLD! Now some of you know this is my 2nd year shooting this special, and even though I have experienced the pain of the cold in the 'float barns', I still am unable to convince myself to stop physically abusing my body by dressing in a silk dress in weather that hits the highs of the 40's all day long. Damn! It was some cold stuff! Now senseless as I am, I find the prettiest little silk dress and think the flower motif will be great for the special. Yeah. So I find some tank tops, double them up and like a lady, tuck them deep into my hot pink colored tights. This my friends, is one sexy look. It gets even better when the microphone, ever so important when you decide to record moving picture with a crazy thing called sound, gets pulled under my tanks. this ruins the whole tuck for warmth idea. Plus, the mic pack gets taped to my upper thigh. And when I say upper thigh, I mean the place that the priest touches you when he wants to be your friend. All day long guys, the sound man, nice person, keeps having to strap and restrap the pack to my upper thigh, and in doing so, I flash him more than enough shots of my hot pink colored crotch. I was wearing tights! I don't think he expected to have his retinas burnt out that day, but I hear the company has good workman's comp, so I don't feel so bad. He'll be the only sound guy deaf in both eyes.
So now I am headed BACK to the float barns to tour the floats prior to them hitting Colorado Blvd. this New Year's. And that means another 7 am call time. I love this stuff, so I totally don't mind much. Or I could just totally be lying because the morning sun feels like the sting of of a vicious pit bull attack on my jugular. Anyhow, I will be joining the live commercial-free team coverage of the parade again this year in pasadena, bright and early on New year's morning! I LOVE this stuff! I love the flowers. I love the floats. I love the pageantry. And I love never having to make plans and go out on New year's Eve. :) That's the best part!
Watch it Tuesday morning. And 'Making of' special will be on HGTV right before. If you're not up, set the tivo.
Chat soon.
So now I am headed BACK to the float barns to tour the floats prior to them hitting Colorado Blvd. this New Year's. And that means another 7 am call time. I love this stuff, so I totally don't mind much. Or I could just totally be lying because the morning sun feels like the sting of of a vicious pit bull attack on my jugular. Anyhow, I will be joining the live commercial-free team coverage of the parade again this year in pasadena, bright and early on New year's morning! I LOVE this stuff! I love the flowers. I love the floats. I love the pageantry. And I love never having to make plans and go out on New year's Eve. :) That's the best part!
Watch it Tuesday morning. And 'Making of' special will be on HGTV right before. If you're not up, set the tivo.
Chat soon.
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